I have been thinking about this for the last few weeks…and I really don’t like the word “but”. We’re all out there “but this…but that”, always making excuses! I am guilty of it too BUTTTT…I’m working on it *wink*.
I feel that the word “but” really gets in our way of happiness, in our way of fulfillment, in our way of adventure, in our way of risk, in our way of change, in our way of success, in our way of MORE! Do you know that 85% of people hate their job? It makes them miserable and it makes them physically sick! Did you know that statistically, the majority of heart attacks take place on Monday morning between 8am and 9am? Did you know that we spend more time working than doing anything else in our entire life? Yup, more than sleeping, more than eating, more than having fun with our loved ones! So then why are we staying at these jobs that are making us miserable…in these toxic relationships…living in the house we don’t like…stepping on the scale every day thinking our weight looks like a phone number…why don’t we do something about it? Well, it’s really out of fear! We fear change…we really like the secure feeling of being just comfortable enough…we hold on to these limiting beliefs that we set for ourselves and we cover it up with the word BUT!
“I would leave him but the kids”, “I would quit my job but I’ve been there 3 years”, “I would look for a new job but who’s going to hire me”, “I would like to lose weight but the gym is too far”, “I’m not suppose to eat this entire pizza, but I’m hungry”, “I would ask my boss for a raise but I don’t want to bother him”, “I am going to quit drinking, but one more drink won’t hurt”, ” I will stop smoking, but I’ll start tomorrow”.
I know I have been guilty of some of these things before! I bet you have too. And that’s OK. We were raised to second guess ourselves, we were raised to give the benefit of the doubt, we were conditioned to minimize ourselves, we were taught to lay low and not stand out, we were taught to fit into these cookie cutter lives, we watched our mothers and grandmothers make excuses and we are only doing what we have trained our brains to do.
The thing is, it’s all about mindset. You have the control, you have the power, you are able and capable of making this change TODAY! No ands, ifs or buts about it. If you want it, go get it! You have genius in YOU! Quit all those limiting beliefs…you can do tremendous things! No, there is not always a tomorrow. No, good things don’t come to those who wait. No, you don’t always get a second chance! These are all lies that we have been telling ourselves to make it better, to make it easier, to keep ourselves from feeling anxious, insecure and scared. But feeling scared is feeling alive…being afraid to risk it all is liberating, and in actuality when you take the biggest risks is when you accomplish the most! When you have no choice, no excuse, no but to lean on…you have to do better!
A man once was captured in the war on the enemy line, the next day he was to meet with the soldiers at 6am for his reprimand. When he arrived the general said to him that he has 2 choices, he can either meet with the soldiers at the wall where his life will end, or he can walk out of this door. The man asked “what is behind this door?”, the general answered that no one knew. That morning, the man thought he could choose the door, BUT he didn’t know what was behind it. The fear of the unknown was greater than the fear of knowing that his life was going to come to an end. That afternoon the general’s secretary asked him “what is behind that door?” to which he replied FREEDOM!
The moral of the store is that this man’s “but”, as many of ours are, was due to FEAR! Fear, ladies & gents, is just False Evidence Appearing Real. As one of my favorite motivational speakers Les Brown would say: why do we choose known hells over unknown heavens?
Why do we rather suffer where we are than try something new? Why do we cling onto this idea that change isn’t worth it? Why are we so caught up with yesterday that we don’t want to live in today? Why are we so scared to risk it all? Shouldn’t we be most scared of being in the same miserable a$$ place as we are now, next year…and the year after?
Put your buts aside…I dare you! Go a whole week catching yourself when you get ready to say “but”. If someone invites you out…just say YES or NO. Don’t ponder and say “I would but I’m broke, I would but I’m tired, I would but who’s going to be there, but but but…”. Just go for it. Start small. And celebrate each win as you go, every small micro win deserves a reward. Give yourself a pat on the back, boost your esteem, and soon enough you will be saying YES to yourself, served on a silver platter, no excuses on the side! Your happiness, your success, your life depends on it. With commitment and consistency you will be successful. No buts allowed! I believe in YOU!
– xo Liliana